I’ve been incredibly lucky this week to have so many smart people comment on my review of Mary Eberhardt’s book. The discussion is on going, and I urge you all to read the comments and add your two bits. Please read Tim Burke’s essay on modernity, change, and children.
UPDATE: Sara Butler believes that the problem of family breakdown should also be brought into the discussion. More from Laura, Geeky Mom.
Apt. 11d 
There seem to be 2 Wendys posting, fwiw.
Are you ok with Butler’s references to your posts? I thought she mischaracterized you when she said you support giving people, especially women, more choices to stay home. That was oversimplifying what I thought you were saying–that there should be more choices for part-time work for both parents.
I also note that she wanted to emphasize absent parents, but she broke down that category into working parents and divorced parents, leaving out deceased parents. First, we are at war, and the problem of deceased parents may only intensify over the next few years, and second, historically the problem of absent/deceased parents was significant. Many children grew up without one or both birth parents. Perhaps that angle should be factored in as well.
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Sara’s obsession is divorce and intentionally-single parents, so it’s not surprising that she sees everything through those lenses. I think she also completely missed the point of the origial analysis, partly because she has consistently lavished praise on the book because it supports her “sky is falling” approach.
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Wendy — My post was just a book review, so I didn’t really elaborate about my point of view. Book reviews are excellent in that regard. You get to bash someone else’s ideas without really going into great depth about your perspective.
Yeah, I think that there should be a lot more part time work for both parents. That solution would probably work best for my husband and myself. But I do think that there should also be more opportunities for one parent who wants to stay home full time. The other parent should make enough to cover essential costs. And if there is only one parent, for whatever reason, they ought to be able to stay home for the first year or two. In addition to subsidizing childcare, we should subsidize the parent during that time.
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Whatever you think of Eberstadt’s book, she has a very striking article about angry children of divorce and abandonment and their embrace of rap and hip hop music about absent dads, coke-addled moms, etc.: http://www.policyreview.org/dec04/eberstadt.html
Since I basically can’t stand that music I have never heard most of the artists she quotes, but the texts she gives are really striking.
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