Two Sides of Parenting and Autism

Lisa Belkin published two posts on autism: one from the perspective of the parent and one from an adult who has Aspergers' Syndrome. The mother describes the high level of stress that is involved with parenting a child with severe behaviorial and emotional needs. The other says it's not the fault of autistic kids and to stop wishing those kids away.

I don't think we should hush up these parents. We need greater awareness of the difficulties that special needs parents face. Check out this story about a little girl with schizophrenia and her parents. We need this awareness, so that extended families become more supportive, the state offers more respite care and other services, and that neighbors nudge their children to be kinder to those families.

I'm a big supporter of neurological diversity and all that, but in this case, let the mom vent.

37 thoughts on “Two Sides of Parenting and Autism

  1. That story about the little girl with schizophrenia is both terrifying and heartbreaking. I hope those parents get some support in their lives.

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  2. “I’m a big supporter of neurological diversity and all that, but in this case let the mom vent.”
    Her post inspired two comments from people who wanted to screen fetuses for Asperger’s so they could be aborted as already happens today with Down’s Syndrome. Further down, there was a comment from a child of an Asperger’s father who was urging Aspies not to have children. I suppose that in such a long thread, that’s not a lot of comments, but it was interesting how quickly the discussion went “there”.

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  3. I just read the first two pieces, and I felt like the adult with Asperger’s totally missed the point and missed all the positive things the mother said. It was kind of an interesting example, perhaps, of how Asperger’s affects reading comprehension. One of the things I’m noticing about my son (who is halfway through an extensive set of testing and seems to be heading to a diagnosis of high-functioning Asperger’s) is that he has a hard time getting the main point of a piece of writing.
    I was glad to read the piece by the mother. My son is nowhere near as difficult but I could relate to it nevertheless. I agree with you: we need to hear these vents.

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  4. I guess nobody wants to hear that their childhood behaviors made their parents’ lives living hell and that it would have been easier for their parents, if they had been average. The neurological diversity literature only talks about differences being great. But they really need to acknowledge that differences take a real toll on other people. For some people with Asperger’s, it’s hard to understand how other people feel. That might be going on here, too.
    You too, Wendy? How many of my readers have kids on the autistic spectrum? I don’t really talk about it that much here.

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  5. I grew up knowing I was a difficult child until I learned to read (which was a huge relief for everyone). I haven’t been damaged by it, though I guess I am incredibly reluctant to bother people to this day. I was annoying enough in my first few years. 🙂
    My son is still in the process of being tested, so we don’t have a “final” diagnosis just yet. I’m working with someone who specializes in “twice exceptional” kids, i.e., gifted and some other neurodiverse issue so we can untangle what’s what. Does he act this way (memorizing many obscure geographical facts, for instance) because he’s gifted or because he has Asperger’s? Does he make noises in class because he’s bored and not challenged or because he’s having some sort of sensory processing issue and needs some sort of rhythmic tapping or humming to help him deal with a quiet classroom?
    It’s been a trip to Holland, all right, except without the tulips.

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  6. Don’t run from the asperger’s diagnosis for your son, Wendy. Once he gets that label, there will be a range of services available for him that you wouldn’t get any other way. He may be both — gifted and disabled, but you need to get the services for the disabled part of him. The gifted part will blossom on its own.
    Kids who are on the spectrum, rather than being classically autistic, are such a diverse group. I think there has to be five or six different types that don’t even have names yet. Ian’s biggest problem is speech and language comprehension. We have had almost no problems with behavior or OCD or emotional regulation. He was also hyperlexic, reading at age three. His eye contact isn’t bad. He’s extremely loving/empathetic and has a good sense of humor. He does have a lot of trouble maintaining attention in group settings. He has a formal diagnosis of Asperger’s, because of his high IQ, but the diagnosis doesn’t quite fit him. He isn’t like any of the other kids in his class. In the next ten years, they’ll come up with a new name for Ian’s condition, but they haven’t done it yet.
    Things were tough a few years ago, because he was so frustrated with not being able to talk. There were also problems that he couldn’t be blamed for — the therapy regimen, the trouble with the school, relatives that didn’t understand. That has all passed now and even the past doesn’t seem so bad. Though Steve thinks that I have blocked out the really bad year.

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  7. My son doesn’t have autism, but Tourette’s Syndrome/OCD/ADHD, which is a whole different set of difficult. There are a lot of similarities, too, though, as I’ve seen in his therapy group (which has several kids on the autism spectrum).
    My local special ed list just had a major fight over whether to support a couple state bills – one on mental health parity, and another on autism services. Reading about parents whose kids are bipolar (or with TS+, for that matter) and not getting the services that they think that kids with the “trendier” ASD diagnosis are getting was not pretty – and it isn’t helped by the school districts who tell parents that if they accept a perhaps inaccurate diagnosis (like the first one we had, of PDD-NOS) that they can provide a paraprofessional in the class.
    Um, perhaps this could be a whole nother topic for you someday. :-/

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  8. Both the mother of the autistic child and the woman with Asperger’s had valid points, I think. We certainly need a space where the parents of children with disabilities can voice how difficult and stressful that role is without being looked down upon. At the same time, it’s not as if people with disabilities have that space either. Their voices are almost completely ignored in our society. It must be doubly hard to be a person with a disability who is also of high enough intelligence to understand the general public’s distaste for them. The ASD young woman probably has gone through her entire life being bullied, scorned, passed by for jobs she was qualified for because of her “oddness”, struggled immensely in her personal relationships, and on and on. While it might not be thoughtful of her to read her own life experience into that of someone she does not know (the original poster, the ASD mother), I think it is certainly understandable.

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  9. “My son doesn’t have autism, but Tourette’s Syndrome/OCD/ADHD, which is a whole different set of difficult. There are a lot of similarities, too, though, as I’ve seen in his therapy group (which has several kids on the autism spectrum).”
    I was reading somewhere (maybe in Tony Attwood’s Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome) that the conditions you mention do overlap and sometimes occur concurrently with Asperger’s. There’s a book that I’ve often thought of getting (just for the title) called “Tictionary: A Reference Guide to the World of Tourette Syndrome, Asperger Syndrome, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for Parents and Professionals.”

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  10. Thanks, Laura. Right now, what he needs most of all is socializationsocializationsocialization. He needs to make friends. Not 1000 friends, but a few would be good. He’s friendly with kids, but he doesn’t have *friends*.
    On a slightly related note, here’s something I’d like feedback on from you guys. There seems to be an unofficial policy/teaching “strategy” among the teachers at my kids’ school that when a student has missed or failed to finish work in the classroom, s/he is prevented from going to recess and must stay inside to finish the work. If E is diagnosed with Asperger’s, I’m going to try to make it an accommodation that he is not to be denied recess (because of his need for socialization).
    But it bothers me for all the kids. All kids need socialization and play and energy release. I think recess should be as important as lunch is. No one would think of withholding lunch from a kid; how can they deny him or her recess?
    I’ve e-mailed the principal about this (along with a link to an article on the benefits of recess) and he never e-mailed back. (He’s not very good about returning e-mails.) How would I address it? Would I go to the School Committee (elected town officials)? The (new!) superintendent? (The outgoing super hates my guts. 😉 The PTO? I think there’s some sort of school-specific committee as well.

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  11. You’re not going to like this advice, Wendy, but I’m going to give it to you anyway. Worry about your kid. That’s it. Especially if your kid has special needs, you are going to need a lot of good will from the school administrators. You’re going to need them to fork over a lot of services, expensive services. If they like you, it will come more easily. You will need to throw hissy fits every once in a while, so you need to save them up. They’ll pay a lot more attention to you if you use your power judiciously. If you get the reputation as the crazy parent who’s always complaining about stuff, they won’t listen to you. You have to pick your battles.
    You want to ask for social skills classes for your son. They’ll place him with other mildly affected kids and give them tips for interacting. Get him in G&T class, because chances are there will be other spectrum kids in the class.
    You want to request an aide. You don’t want the mom from next door as an aide. You want an ABA trained aide. That costs the system more money, but it’s worth it.
    Since I’m the advice-lady this morning, I’m going to keep handing it out. If you are in the private school system, you can still get services out of your local public school system. They have to pay for services even if your child does not attend a public school. It’s tricky, but it can be done. Might have to hire a lawyer or an advocate.
    Take your child every where. Don’t leave them at home, because it’s easier. Take them to the supermarket, amusement parks, sport events of siblings, library, restaurants. Don’t let them play too many computer games. No DS in restaurants. Dinner time conversation is very important. Sign them for clubs and activities, even if it’s hard for them. Do not home school.

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  12. Laura,
    First off, there’s a classic piece by Jonathan Rauch on introverts that I think is worth bearing in mind.
    http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
    Rauch talks about how much adult introverts suffer in a world that is all talk-talk-talk all the time. The whole piece is worth commiting to memory, but here are a couple of clips:
    “…introverts are people who find other people tiring.”
    “…after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”
    “How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—”a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population.””
    To be an introvert is not the same thing as to be an Aspie, but there’s got to be a significant overlap, and I think Rauch’s advice is worth bearing in mind. Social competence is the Holy Grail here, but it’s not necessarily achieved via immersion. Less is sometimes more.
    More later.

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  13. I think Nintendo DS is the Devil’s Toy. My kids do not have handheld computer games. 🙂 I am aware my POV, especially as expressed, may be inflammatory, but I think I realized subconsciously what a challenge having a DS would be in our family.
    Gah, good will from administrators is not something I’ve fostered.
    Btw, E also has trouble with people he doesn’t know well. So when he hit his head on the playground and the nurse asked him if he was ok, and he didn’t answer, she kind of freaked out. I now know to encourage him to get to know key personnel.
    And oy, he has Zoo Camp next week. New people who won’t know his quirks. His sister will be with him, and he’s excited to go, but now I have to worry about that.

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  14. I respect the mom’s need to vent, even though I didn’t find the article itself effective in the sense I look for in these articles — for me to be able to imagine myself there, experiencing what the mom is experiencing. That’s what moves the article from a vent to a real communication. I’m reading “this lovely life” by Vicki Forman (half way through, so her son, Evan Kamida isn’t yet out of the NICU), and it is extremely effective. I am understanding more than I did before about how one comes to acceptance of a child with significant needs/disabilities.
    But, I do think that when a vent (and it was not more than a vent) is published in a forum like motherlode, there should be a counterpoint. That mom should talk about her experience, her truth. But when people’s exposure is limited, they over-generalize from the single view. Hearing from the adult with asperger’s was good, but not enough, I think.
    And, Laura, I think you’re wrong in thinking that the vent will result in “extended families become more supportive, the state offers more respite care and other services, and that neighbors nudge their children to be kinder to those families.” In fact, suggestions that a child might be unpredictably violent are the one particular thing that will cause neighbors to nudge their children away from the family/child, not to be nicer. As an outsider, the right way, for me, would be to show me how you’ll manage the situation so that my child won’t be hurt/traumatized/impaired.

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  15. “In fact, suggestions that a child might be unpredictably violent are the one particular thing that will cause neighbors to nudge their children away from the family/child, not to be nicer. As an outsider, the right way, for me, would be to show me how you’ll manage the situation so that my child won’t be hurt/traumatized/impaired.”
    That sounds about right.

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  16. Amy’s comment about introversion struck me, too. I’ve seen some video tapes of clinical psychologists interviewing people on the spectrum, and one of the things that strike me about those interactions is that we are seeing two extremes of behavior. The clinical psychologist, often a woman, is usually extremely socially gifted, the person who might have had a natural inclination, but now is the person who knows the right thing to say, the right way to say it, is extremely cued to the emotional state of the other person. The contrast makes the client’s behavior look more extreme to me than when I see similar behaviors among a more broad social group. I mean, among scientists, having an obsessive knowledge of neural circuitry of the common sea slug and wanting to talk about something else only rarely is not particularly uncommon. That’s a part of the neurodiversity movement I understand, especially in the contest of a parenting trend I perceive among many that typical children are perfectable, if we just do everything perfectly.

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  17. “The clinical psychologist, often a woman, is usually extremely socially gifted…”
    Huh? Compared to psychiatrists, sure. But I wouldn’t put the ‘extreme’ there.

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  18. My problem with unsupportive family/friends is not in judging or withdrawing but in saying “He doesn’t have any problems. He’s just smart. There’s no such thing as Asperger’s. You’re worrying too much.” Oy. It doesn’t help that I don’t live near my family.
    I see what Amy is saying about introversion as well. I am an extravert from a family of introverts, so I manage living with introverts pretty well and respect their need for alone time. E needs frequent applications of “step away from people and calm down” in many cases–but so does my husband, which works out well.
    To go back to my recess issue, I can totally see keeping a kid from recess if she/he is not interacting properly and seems to need the quiet time and the removal from excessive stimuli.

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  19. “Huh? Compared to psychiatrists, sure. But I wouldn’t put the ‘extreme’ there.”
    Really? all the clinical psychologists I know are pretty socially gifted, and certainly the one’s on the videos. But, as already hinted perhaps my comparison group is pretty extreme, too, and the clinical psychologists are just “normal”.

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  20. Well, all of the clinical psychologists I know are either also doing research or are semi-deranged neighbors of mine, so I suppose my sample might be off.

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  21. “My problem with unsupportive family/friends is not in judging or withdrawing but in saying “He doesn’t have any problems. He’s just smart. There’s no such thing as Asperger’s. You’re worrying too much.” Oy. It doesn’t help that I don’t live near my family.”
    I think that’s a pretty standard scenario. It gets even more complicated when the person saying that is the other parent.

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  22. Being autistic is not the same thing as being an introvert. For example, Ian loves being around kids; he just doesn’t have enough verbal skills to talk with them. He’ll go galloping over to group of boys and everyone will smile at each other. Ian might say, “Hi, I’m Ian.” But after than he has no idea what to say, so he might say something like “Patrick lives under a rock.” And the other boys will give him a fishy eye and run away. Luckily, most boys don’t have great social skills. He can talk about video games with NT kids and that works. He’s also able to blend because he doesn’t have any stims, and he’s a good looking kid.
    Kids on the spectrum have to be forced to do things that are hard for them. Well, gently forced. They need to function in the world. They need to hold down a job someday. And many would like to have better social skills. Check out this talk by Temple Grandin talking about forcing your kid to do stuff.

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  23. “He doesn’t have any problems. He’s just smart. There’s no such thing as Asperger’s. You’re worrying too much.”
    I’ve been guilty of saying similar things — well, except for the there’s no such thing part. From the point of view of the person saying the thing, I’d say that perfectly appropriate responses are to say that it doesn’t matter what I think or to explain to me why I’m wrong. I prefer the second, but the first would make me shut up, too.
    I think there are a variety of reasons why outsiders fall into this statement. The first is that they don’t know your child in all their different behaviors. They also don’t know very many children (if they’re just a parent), so they don’t have good comparisons. Then, there’s the problem that some behaviors really do look very similar to behaviors exhibited by typical children. In those cases, people both don’t want to believe that the behavior is a disability. they don’t necessarily want to accommodate the behavior. Finally, there’s the ideological worry about people wanting their children to be perfect.
    I think whether you try to educate them depends on whether it matters what they think or not. What works with me (that is, if you really need to convince me)? 1) descriptions of situations where behavior was unusual, with some degree of detail, and documentation. 2) video — this might be an odd one, but I’ve found it pretty effective, because it helps you attend to things you dismiss. 3) seeing the child in a group setting with other children; often one is so used to accommodating that you don’t notice the quirks/ideosyncracies 4) outside evaluations.
    (yes, I’ve gone through this education, though not with my own children and I follow the autism clinical/research literature).

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  24. Fabulous video, Laura. I’ve known about Temple Grandin for years, but never listened to her speak. I’m glad you got me to link through to the speech.

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  25. People also make that statement because many of these behaviors weren’t classified as disabilities in the past. In the past, little Johnny was called a weirdo, a nerd, a freak, but today, he would he would be classified.
    People also make that statement, especially if they are in the family, because they are on the spectrum themselves. Autism is in the family gene pool. You may not recognize something as being unusual, if you do it yourself.

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  26. Laura, yeah, we have that kind of thing too, except E will say “The capital of Paraguay is Asuncion” or “one quarter of 300 is 75.” Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you, too, Eric.
    I’ll keep Temple playing on You Tube in the background, but I prefer reading, and in fact I’ve taken one of her books out of the library. I’m interested in her because of her writing about animals. I’m not an animal person, but many of my friends are, and they’ve kind of converted me, and now I’m sitting here on the couch with a dog on my legs. I also saw a really great presentation at the Teaching Professor Conference about using animals and society as a topic for a class-based project.

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  27. Laura says: “Do not home school.”
    One of the authors I’ve been reading lately is Lise Pyles. She wrote “Hitchhiking through Asperger Syndrome” (2002) and Homeschooling the Child with Asperger Syndrome: Real Help for Parents Anywhere and on Any Budget.” Her son was born in 1984, got kicked out of several daycares, did time in special ed, went on Ritalin, homeschooled (and went off Ritalin) with great success starting in 2nd grade, re-entered an American army school in the UK as a 6th grader (academically successfully but not socially), and eventually did very well at an Australian private school. Of course, schools today are a lot more sophisticated about Asperger’s than they were back in the day, but I think that there are advantages to being able to provide a calm, predictable, unstimulating environment for doing school work, especially for a child who is struggling academically. In 2nd grade, Lise Pyles’s son was doing poorly and she wasn’t sure where to go from there:
    “The fog really lifted, though, during a conversation with the school psychologist one day. I was lamenting that John’s academic progress seemed stalled and he was falling further and further behind. The psychologist said, ‘John just seems like a puppy learning to stay. Every ounce of concentration is wrapped up in just being in the classroom, in staying put when his instincts are telling him to run away. There is nothing left in him for academics.'”
    I’d add that I personally got barely any social benefit from being in elementary school. As they say, just because you’re in the garage doesn’t make you a car–environment only gets you so far. As an elementary school child, I was really only aware of things in about an 18-inch radius around myself. I don’t think I was aware of other children or what teachers were saying in any meaningful way. The funny thing is that the lights really came on when I was in 6th grade (note that that’s when Pyles’s son went back to school and started to have some success). Starting around then, I really did start being more aware of teachers and fellow students.
    I suppose some sort of tip-top social skills intervention can make school a social plus for socially withdrawn kids, but negative social interactions and an overwhelming sensory experience are likely to cause even deeper social withdrawal.
    Pyles makes an interesting argument for homeschooling based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Pyles says:
    “If the above hierarchy is true, learning doesn’t occur until level four, but our children with Asperger Syndrome (and many average kids) who are currently struggling with fear and anxiety in classrooms are stuck at level two. That is, although we assume they’ve had their basic, food, water and air needs (level one), they do not feel safe or secure (level two).”

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  28. Laura, exactly. We have a saying in my family that goes “X must be some relation to Y,” with X and Y of course being related (we have a weird sense of humor ;). And I hear a lot of “E must be some relation to his mother.” E reminds me of me *so much*. I’ve started to notice how “autistic” some of my behaviors are/were and how I have coping skills E doesn’t have. My parents see E acting just like I did, and they think “no big deal.”
    And he does have some behaviors I don’t have, like if he sees a friend from school at the store, he will freeze and not say hello to the friend even if the kid is in his face saying “Hi Eric!” Then I start apologizing and it’s a THING. Anyway, my parents don’t see that because they don’t see him with anyone other than family. (I should note that my dad is bedridden and cannot travel; they might otherwise visit more often.)

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  29. “You may not recognize something as being unusual, if you do it yourself. ”
    Totally true, but also true that if you do it yourself you might see no need for accommodation or intervention, or the fact that the behavior interferes with the child’s ability to do things. For those people (and again, we’re assuming they need an explanation), explaining the answers to those questions might be helpful. Why should a behavior be accommodated? What kind of interventions will be helpful and will be accessible with a diagnosis of disability?
    I’m pretty sure my children are typically developing (though mind you, they can be pretty unusual), but my son might do that, too (i.e. freeze up). That’s why stories like that never convinced me (and, my son is almost certainly not on the spectrum). I understand why I shouldn’t compare my son to the story: it’s the whole pattern of behavior, and the subsequent effect on ability to function in a social or educational setting that matters. But, people do, compare, I mean.
    (and, even with my typically functioning son, I’ve taken that shyness and turned it into a thing, by apologizing and demanding and . . . .)
    Also, I’m making these comments in the hopes that understanding the people who make those comments might help with communication, hearing what other people’s naive reactions are.

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  30. Maybe there’s an argument about this because people publish articles with titles like “The Unvarnished Reality of Autism.”
    I mean, come on. Her kid is not my kid is not a non-verbal kid with mental retardation. That’s why they call it a spectrum. And parents are different in their ability to handle what they get. So why does there have to be One Official Way That Autism Affects Families?
    That said I do find it pretty gross when posters on blogs like Age of Autism are praised for their honesty and perceptiveness in, say, wishing their kids had cancer instead, and that colors my opinion of columns devoted to “telling it like it is” in re: autism. (I know this columnist didn’t say anything like that.)

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  31. He turns six in November. I expect he’ll get better as he gets older (and he doesn’t do it all the time). But he can be oddly shy at times (a big contrast to the overtly talkative boy that everyone is used to).
    (Oh, and since he’s part of a control group for autism studies at the autism center at our university — he just did an experiment on imitation — I think we can safely say that he is not on the spectrum).
    And, I realized that some of what I’m saying sounds kind of like saying “Well, I’m not a sexist, but here’s what a sexist would say to that . . . ” and then arguing that I’m doing it for everyone’s edification, and not being a jerk. I’m trying not to cross the line in providing information about the uneducated, but I know that it can be dangerous ground. Feel free to call me on it if I cross the line.

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  32. bj, I’m ok with what you’re doing. I just wanted to know about your son’s age because one of the reasons I haven’t done anything about my son till now is that so many of his behaviors were ones I thought he’d grow out of. My daughter has changed remarkably as she’s grown up; she too was once cautious and shy most of the time. I am just expecting some change and I’m not seeing it.

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  33. bj,
    I don’t think you’re within miles of jerky.
    The thing is, Asperger’s covers a lot of ground. With the family trees that I know best, you can see various features scattered among different adult family members (insensitivity to pain, clumsiness, spatial and mathematical skill, inability/unwillingness to deceive, quick temper, detail orientedness, difficulty keeping in step with physical activities, love of solitude) and then you can see the kaleidoscopic mixing of these features in their descendants.
    (I think it’s a shame that Temple Grandin never had a chance to get together with my great-grandma. Grandma was a horse lady who moved to a ranch 30 minutes out of town in her 70s and had an amazing menagerie of geese, sheep, horses, a dog, a cat, and baby calves. Various vagabonds and adventurers would stay and help out from time to time and grandma had many devoted friends, but as my dad wrote about her, people who knew her always wondered whether she really liked people.)

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  34. I hate thinking that all those traits are “signs,” not personality traits shared by lots of people. Sometimes when I read stuff like Baron-Cohen’s description of “systemizers,” the kind of brains of which he thinks autism is the extreme form, I think “Well, that describes everyone I know who has anything interesting to say.” What’s my alternative to marrying someone who is vaguely introverted and likes to know a lot about subjects of interest–an arranged marriage to someone in Sales?

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  35. My son (PDD-NOS) has been homeschooled all his life. We belong to a homeschooling group of ~100 families that includes a small support group for families with challenging/ challenged learners.
    My son is a wonderfully friendly & polite boy who has a speech processing disorder. Most adults love him, but he has no clue how to socialize with other boys his age & he talks a little oddly, but he has NEVER had to endure anyone making fun of him or pushing him to the meltdown point or making him feel bad about himself.
    Throwing someone into a pond does not teach them how to swim when they have no clue – and having one’s child sit in a group of kids playing with one another isn’t enough to teach the ASD child how to join in appropriately. My son does not imitate others well at all; he needs more specific, personalized instruction.
    I am able to teach him social skills under fairly well controlled circumstances & even have the advantage of a couple of other moms who are working on these skills with all of our kids together.
    This may not be a viable solution for everyone, but this option is vastly superior to what he likely would have experienced thru our public school system here. I would encourage you not to fall for the anti-homeschooling “but what about socialization” myth!

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  36. Laura said: “Being autistic is not the same thing as being an introvert.”
    I’m reading Tony Attwood’s “Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome” (2007) right now. I don’t know how he ranks in the scientific world, but he’s very insightful. I just came across a passage where he talks about the Asperger individual and solitude.
    “In Chapter 6 I will explain how solitude is also one of the most effective emotional restoratives for someone with Asperger’s syndrome. Being alone can be a very effective way of calming down and is also enjoyable, especially if engaged in a special interest, one of the greatest pleasures in life for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.
    “Solitude can facilitate learning. The acquisition of knowledge in a classroom requires considerable social and linguistic skills. The difficulties experienced in these areas by children with Asperger’s syndrome can impede the understanding of academic concepts. I have observed that some children with Asperger’s syndrome acquire academic skills such as basic literacy and numeracy before they attend school, often by looking at books, watching television or playing educational games on a computer. They have successfully tuaght themselves, in solitude.
    “When alone, especially in a bedroom, the hypersensitivity for some sensory experiences is reduced as the environment can be relatively quiet, particularly in comparison to a school playground or classroom.”
    Obviously, there’s also a need to pursue social development (and perhaps physical development), but it seems that it might be wise in certain cases to disengage academic and social learning, at least for a time.

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