I just got back from spending six hours in traffic court. I spent so much time with the other scofflaws that I think we’re now related. I’m going to have to invite them to our next family gathering. Mr. 29ParkingTickets and Mr. ConcealedWeapon will get a big plate of pasta from my mom.

One little fashion tip for blog readers who ever have the misfortune to go to traffic court. Don’t wear jeans that are torn under the butt cheeks. Also don’t wear low riders and tube tops that show off your butt crack tattoo. This goes double if the wearer is over 40. There was a surprising amount butt exposure in court tonight. I’m not sure if the judge looked too favorably on those cases.

Another word of advice. When a school bus is stopped in the opposite lane of traffic, come to a complete stop and don’t proceed until that stop sign flap is firmly against the bus and all lights have stopped blinking. Even if that is your usual bus stop and you know all the kids getting on the bus and you watch them get in and you watch the bus doors shut and the bus driver smiles at you and waves. Especially don’t proceed, if there’s a police car hiding directly behind the stopped bus. Signed letters by witnesses stating that all children were in the bus don’t help out that much.

However, later thanking the police officer for his vigilance in keeping our shiny town safe for chldren and having a spotless driving record does help out. It might even knock down a major penalty, five points and huge fines, to a careless driving ticket, which is only two points and a small fine.

I’m rather jangly from being juiced up on soda and Snicker bars from 7-11. I owe the blog one decent post and a response to some clever comments, but I’m done for tonight.